Madea’s Witness Protection Review

By: Lawrence Foster
Rating: 1 out of 10

In my 26 years, I have watched some fantastic movies. I have also watched some real stinkers as well. The only negative thing about reviewing movies is that you have to take the good with the bad. Up until July 1, 2012, I had never contemplated leaving a movie theater before the film was done. That was all before I took my first plunge into a Tyler Perry/Madea movie.

I wish I had just dipped a toe in the proverbial water. Madea’s Witness Protection is easily one of the five worst films I have ever viewed. If it wasn’t for the fact that I drove a friend to the Galaxy 8, I would have left 15 minutes into the movie. It was so horrible that I had to create a new graphic for my score because the lowest I had it made to was a one.

The “plot” is about as thin LeBron James’ hairline and from what I have read, that is to be expected from a Tyler Perry film. George Needleman (Eugene Levy) is an investment banker who was used as a set up man in a Ponzi scheme. To make matters worse, the company was backed by the mob and they threaten to kill Needleman and his family if he rats them out. To the rescue comes Brian, a DA who decides it is best for the Needleman’s to go into a witness protection program at his aunt’s house, who so happens to be Perry’s famous character, Madea.

I won’t waste any more of your time with a plot that doesn’t matter to a film you should not watch. Rather I am going to quickly discuss what went wrong with the film, because there could have been a decent comedy made if they went about it the right way.

For starters, as a first-time entrant into the world of Tyler Perry, I was surprised at the brand of humor. At one point Madea (Perry) calls her brother Joe (Perry) a rectum. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not against dirty humor, but Perry almost always goes for the quick laugh with humor like that and unfortunately it falls short.

There were a couple of story lines — a potentially hilarious back story with Joe and George’s mom Barbara (Doris Roberts), and the interaction between Madea and George’s snobbish teenage daughter Cindy (Danielle Campbell) are just two examples — that could have been explored more and resulted in laughs and a more three-dimensional movie.

Madea’s Witness Protection is not a movie newbies of Tyler Perry should watch. I won’t comment on if it is what his fans like and expect, because I am not one of them. Even if you are a Perry fan, do yourself a favor and go watch Ted and see what a real comedy should look and sound like.

In my 26 years, I have watched some fantastic movies. I have also watched some real stinkers as well. The only negative thing about reviewing movies is that you have to take the good with the bad. Up until July 1, 2012, I had never contemplated leaving a movie theater before the film was done. That was all before I took my first plunge into a Tyler Perry/Madea movie.

I wish I had just dipped a toe in the proverbial water. Madea’s Witness Protection is easily one of the five worst films I have ever viewed. If it wasn’t for the fact that I drove a friend to the Galaxy 8, I would have left 15 minutes into the movie. It was so horrible that I had to create a new graphic for my score because the lowest I had it made to was a one.

The “plot” is about as thin LeBron James’ hairline and from what I have read, that is to be expected from a Tyler Perry film. George Needleman (Eugene Levy) is an investment banker who was used as a set up man in a Ponzi scheme. To make matters worse, the company was backed by the mob and they threaten to kill Needleman and his family if he rats them out. To the rescue comes Brian, a DA who decides it is best for the Needleman’s to go into a witness protection program at his aunt’s house, who so happens to be Perry’s famous character, Madea.

I won’t waste any more of your time with a plot that doesn’t matter to a film you should not watch. Rather I am going to quickly discuss what went wrong with the film, because there could have been a decent comedy made if they went about it the right way.

For starters, as a first-time entrant into the world of Tyler Perry, I was surprised at the brand of humor. At one point Madea (Perry) calls her brother Joe (Perry) a rectum. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not against dirty humor, but Perry almost always goes for the quick laugh with humor like that and unfortunately it falls short.

There were a couple of story lines — a potentially hilarious back story with Joe and George’s mom Barbara (Doris Roberts), and the interaction between Madea and George’s snobbish teenage daughter Cindy (Danielle Campbell) are just two examples — that could have been explored more and resulted in laughs and a more three-dimensional movie.

Madea’s Witness Protection is not a movie newbies of Tyler Perry should watch. I won’t comment on if it is what his fans like and expect, because I am not one of them. Even if you are a Perry fan, do yourself a favor and go watch Ted and see what a real comedy should look and sound like.

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